NO YOU.

No longer a child but not ready to be called an adult. I am 21 now and still no good at introductions. My name is Bea and this is my tumblr.

I have not been here for the longest time. It is humorous to think that these words and words that are written electronically combined tangents and numbers as my only solace. It is my place of comfort, a comfort that I was not lucky to find in the arms of someone that I loved and cherished. 

Everything that I had for myself was given away to you, to convince you to put faith in me, to believe in something that we were not. I was delusional yet I thought you were the most important. Victimization - I am not looking for your pity or your comforting words. I am looking for remorse. Your remorse for the consequences of your actions, the responsibility that you have for fucking up someone and their lives. Do what you will but do not take me for granted because not one bit. Not even one fraction of anything you think that I have done will ever compare to how much you have done.

Your existence should be nothing and to me it is nothing. Yet your actions are still so upheld to the greatest power. It is demeaning to me. To be allowed to be belittled by someone you regard as a friend. I’m not writing to hurt but deep down, I am. I do not wish for your happiness. I do not wish you luck or well. I hope you find yourself in a long excruciating life and a long line of shit that you would have to inhale. 



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